Turning back the hands of time
by AlaskasFault
Summary: [TW: Suicide] It's been three years after the fall. Sherlock returns and looks forward to see his best friend John Watson again but he didn't expect to find an empty flat and a sad Molly Hooper. What he finds out breaks his heart and suddenly a blue box appears with a strange man and a little boy inside. Who are they and will they be able to put the broken man back together again?
1. Prologue

**[Author's Note: It's my first story so please have mercy with me. English isn't my mother tongue but I'm trying my best ^^ I hope it's okay :o]**

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„Sh-Sherlock?", Molly Hooper was standing in the doorway, staring at the Consulting Detective in disbelief. She looked good but she also looked like she had cried. Sherlock tried to deduce what was going on.

_Three years older but didn't age one day, pays more attention to her outer appearance, wears expensive jewellery and a wedding ring, so she's got a rich husband. Looks happy but she cried just a few hours ago, seems to cry very often. A traumatic event had a big impact on her life, maybe a month maybe...no, it was just a few weeks ago. Two weeks? She'd lost someone. A parent? No, her parents are dead, aren't they? A friend! She had dyed her hair, a bit lighter, soil under her nails. So she was most likely on a graveyard. I guess in the lunch br-_

Molly shut the door and approached him carefully. „Sherlock!" she said and smiled but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

„Of course I'm back, I said I will come back!", he smiled at her and looked around with a hopeful expression on his face. „So...where's John? I missed him a lot to be honest. He wasn't in the flat so..."

And there it was...that look she tried to hide with a smile the whole time. „He...he doesn't live...there anymore." she said with a shaky voice and looked at the ground. Sherlock frowned and he could have sworn that his heart stopped beating for a second.

_A friend._

_No._

Sherlock's smile froze and his frown deepened. „Wh-What do you mean? Where did he go?", he asked and tried to keep his composure.

Molly took a deep breath and did her best to keep her smile steady. „I...I will take you there. Come.", Molly grabbed her coat from a chair and put it on slowly.

„Molly? What...", Sherlock looked at the woman, his eyes showed nothing but fear.

Molly didn't answer and just left the St. Bart's building to lead the way. How should she tell him this? After Sherlock's 'death' she and John became close friends and she had always been there for John so losing one of her best friends broke her heart. She had never asked one of the men but she knew -everyone knew- that Sherlock and John had been more than just colleagues, more than friends. No one grieved that way about a friend. John had grieved over the love of his life. And then he had died of a broken heart, well, no he had taken his life but the pain of losing Sherlock made him do it.

Sherlock just followed her, everything inside him felt numb and he prayed to every single god in this universe that she would lead him to a new flat or anywhere else...just not...

He kept asking her where they were going but she was lost in her thoughts, dealing with her own pain, bracing for whatever would happen next. They walked a while through the pouring rain and then despite his silent prayers they stood in front of a graveyard.

„Molly, please...this isn't funny. Tell me where he is!" he refused to believe that they were already there. Maybe she just needed a second and they would go somewhere else, he tried to comfort himself.

_Please, no._

„Molly...talk to me, tell me, what is going on?"

Molly just took his Hand and she pulled him along with her across the graveyard. Sherlock felt like his legs would give in. He stood in front of his own grave. An ordinary black gravestone.

_Sherlock Holmes. _

A single white rose lay on his grave. There was something special about that rose.

_The rose is two weeks old. Dead but still..._

_A white rose...symbol for eternal love, but also friendship. A goodbye. _

_Eternal love..._

Goodbye.

_Two weeks._

It was John. John had put this rose on his grave...he wanted to say goodbye.

And then, when he looked up from his grave, he saw something that made him feel like he would suffocate. His knees finally gave in and he fell into the wet soil.

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**I know it's very short but it's just the beginning of something (hopefully) big. Next chapter will be up tomorrow ^^ **


	2. Please, God, let me die

**Author's Note: Howdy! I hope you liked the prologue because we're getting into the story now. I have the next two chapters ready but I need some more ideas :) Blahblah enjoy! ^^  
Warning: A bit too many feels...sorry :o**

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_And then, when he looked up from his grave, he saw something that made him feel like he would suffocate. His knees finally gave in and he fell into the wet soil. _

„NO! NO NO NO! _No_..." That last word wasn't more than a whisper as he clung onto a stone made of white marble. Next to his once solitary gravestone there was another one.

_John Hamish Watson_

„John, please! I beg you. No. YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!", he screamed at the grave and his hot tears fell to the ground along with the never-ending rain. Desperately he hit the ground underneath his knees. His coat was soaked in dirt, tears and rain but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything at all anymore.

His best friend was dead. Because of him. Because he wanted to _protect _him. Because he didn't want him to _die. _And now John lay six feet under in the belief that he was with Sherlock.

Sherlock remembered the day he had followed him and Mrs Hudson to the graveyard. It was two years after his 'death'. Sherlock had noticed that John's limp was back and even worse than before. His hands were shaking uncontrollably again, he was sick. Sherlock couldn't bear to see John suffer like this and at this point he had no idea how much he was suffering. He just knew what he saw and what he could find out by watching him sometimes.

_John Hamish Watson. Former army doctor, lost his best friend two years ago. Depressive. Never sleeps more than two hours at night, has terrible nightmares. Lost his appetite so he lost about 25 kilograms in the past two years, critical condition. Avoids any social contact, just talks to Molly Hooper and Mrs Hudson. Five failed suicide attempts._

_Is planning another one_

_It will be successful._

John had stood in front of Sherlock's grave, clinging onto his cane. It was clear that he fought to keep his composure despite his physical and emotional pain.

„You..you told me once that you weren't a hero." he took a deep breath. Sherlock stood just a few meters away and watched him.

John swllowed hard. „Umm, There were times I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this...you...you were the best man, the most human...human being that I've ever known and no one...no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie."

Sherlock closed his eyes. He turned around and leaned against a tree in front of him. He didn't deserve those words. Not at all.

„You know..I was so alone and I owe you so much..."

_No John, I owe you a thousand apologies. You gave me more than I could ever return._

Sherlock felt a tear running down his face. He quickly wiped it away and took a deep breath. But he wasn't prepared for what John would say next

"But...But please, there's just one more thing, one more miracle Sherlock, for me, don't be...dead." John's voice broke along with Sherlock's heart. He fought back the tears as John started to sob and continued talking.

"Would you do that just for me? Just stop it. Stop _this..."_

_John. I'm here, turn around!_

John hurried away as fast as his bad leg allowed him. Sherlock could hear his distant sobs and suddenly a choked cry slipped from Sherlock's lips. Sherlock sunk down to the ground and tried to calm himself. Then, when he could breathe normally again he returned to Mycroft's house as if nothing happened. After the fall he had stayed at his brother's place so no one would find him. And no one did.

He had watched John almost every day, then only a few times per week and then had followed him just once or twice a month as John rarely left the flat. When John didn't leave his flat for two weeks in a row he became worried. He had to come back and see what was wrong. So he had gone to 221B. He still had the key so he went upstairs to the flat but no one was there. he thought that maybe John was at work so he went to St. Bart's where he had met Molly again. He had no idea that this would be the worst day of his life. Right now he wished for nothing more than that he would have really died during the fall just so he didn't have to deal with the pain he felt now.

"How?" Sherlock whispered.

Molly sat on Sherlock's gravestone and looked down at him. "I think you can answer that yourself, Sherlock."

Sherlock looked up, a shocked expression on his face. "No, he didn't..."

A scream. More tears.

"I was behind him that day. I wanted to stop him, really. He wouldn't stop talking about that he would be with you again soon. That everything will be okay again. He has smiled. _Smiled. _He had lost his mind, Sherlock. You should have seen him the past couple of months. I have never seen anything like that in my entire life. He was whispering your name all the time and then he stretched out his arms...like wings." Molly told him and shook her head in disbelief.

_If you were dying, if you'd been murdered. In your very last few seconds, what would you say?  
_

_Please, God, let me live_

Sherlock closed his eyes. "In...his last seconds..before he jumped. What did he say?"

Molly frowned. Why would he want to know something like that? Oh, right, it was Sherlock. She would never forget John's last words.

"Please, God, let me die. Make it stop." she said and looked at the ground.

These words pierced right into his heart. He couldn't take any more and broke down.

"Why couldn't you wait just a bit longer? I would have come back for you, John!" Sherlock sobbed.

Molly didn't know what to do. The sight of the once so proud and to be honest most of the time tactless detective who was now lying on the ground crying over his lost love was too much for her. Before she could think she just left, leaving Sherlock behind.

He didn't notice and even if, it wouldn't have bothered him.

Sherlock lay on John's grave for a couple more hours and sobbed silently to himself.

"I love you, John."

In this moment he heard a strange sound, an engine? How did a car get onto this graveyard? No, it wasn't a...ah, sod that.

He heard footsteps on the wet grass and all he could see was a pair of black shoes in front of him.

"Sherlock, get up!"

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**I hope you enjoyed it and that my grammar was okay :o Maybe I'll upload the next chapter this evening because it's almost ready :) And I also hoped that you cried because I did while writing this. In the next chapter we will see who the mysterious owner of the black shoes is :D Please review! ^^**


	3. Hamish

**I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this chapter but here it is :o I hope you like it :) **

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„_Sherlock, get up""_

„No."

„Sherlock, it's okay, get up now."

„NO! NOTHING IS _OKAY_!" he yelled and sobbed silently to himself.

"For Rassilon's sake...Hamish! I found him! You can come now!" The man called and a little boy came out behind a tree and stared at Sherlock with huge blue watery eyes.

"Father! Why are you cr-" the little boy looked at the two gravestones and looked scared. "D-Doctor?!" the little boy called Hamish looked up to the man next to him.  
The _Doctor _looked at Hamish and sighed. "Hal, what did I tell you about spoilers?" he said and tried to look angry but it was hard to be mad at that sweet little boy.

„I'm sorry, Doctor." he looked at his feet sheepishly and then back to the detective on the ground. He knelt down next to him and pushed back a raven curl out of the man's face. "Don't cry, Fa- Mr Holmes." he had never seen Sherlock cry before and if this wasn't terrifying enough, he sat next to the graves of the two people he loved most. He sniffed quietly and hugged Sherlock. "Please...stop." he begged with his little voice.

The Doctor stood next to one of his best friends and it broke both of his hearts to see him like that. He couldn't tell him just yet that everything would be alright and that he was holding his future in his arms.

His and John's future.

Sherlock jumped a little as two little arms were wrapped around him. The little boy sobbed silently against his father's chest and begged him to stop crying. He didn't know why but the boy really made him stop. He sat up and pressed Hamish to his chest instinctively. He felt that the pain in his chest subsided but it was still there.

_Hamish_

_John Hamish Watson._

He frowned and let go of the boy to take a look at him. His eyes widened as he looked at his face. He was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. He was about four years old, maybe five and his pale face with his beautiful big blue eyes was framed by raven curls just like his.

_The look in his eyes shows that he likes to explore and he is incredibly clever for his age. Seems to read a lot. Plays an instrument...cello? Violin. Yes, violin. He is caring, kind-hearted but he seems to be lonely. His parents..._

_Yes, what about his parents? _

_No idea._

His heart clenched as he realized that this little boy in his arms was so much like him. He seemed like a little version of him and this fact scared Sherlock.

_If his parents have a heart they won't let this little boy become like me. Please don't let him grow up to be like me._

„Mr Holmes?" the little one sniffed and looked at his father with big watery eyes.

„Yes?" Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off his face. He was captivated by his eyes that looked so much like John's. He felt a violent sting in his chest as he thought about that he wouldn't be able to see those beautiful eyes of John ever again.

The Doctor couldn't help but chuckle internally despite the situation. _The great Sherlock Holmes looks at you and knows your whole life story but when his own son stands in front of him he's clueless. _He smiled to himself. Sherlock would be the most wonderful dad for Hamish and he could see clearly that Sherlock already loved his son without even knowing him.

„Do you love Da- John?" he asked with curious eyes.

Sherlock blinked and swallowed down the big lump in his throat. "Yes, yes I do, very much." he whispered. "But I never told him." Sherlock said and ran a hand through the boy's wet curls.

"He loves you too. To the moon and back." that's what John always told him and Hamish always wondered how people could love someone 477,714 miles. He didn't quite understand it but he knew that it must be a lot and he liked the moon so he liked this metaphor. Another sob escaped from the detective's lips and Hamish's eyes widened. "No! Don't cry! I...I just wanted to make it better."

Hamish put a small hand on Sherlock's chest."My Daddy is a doctor and he told me I can heal broken hearts."

The Doctor was touched by the love that little boy had for his father. And he blinked away the wetness in his eyes.

Sherlock gave Hamish one of his rare smiles from heart. "I'm sure that you can do that, you really made me feel a little better. I bet your daddy is a wise man." he said. Hamish nodded eagerly and was proud that he had been able to make Sherlock smile. Hamish bent down and planted a small kiss on the faded scar on the man's temple which made Sherlock's heart beat faster and he suddenly had a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest.

„Don't be sad, everything is going to be alright. We're here to help you." Hamish managed to drag his father to his feet.

Sherlock noticed that Hamish was just wearing a shirt which was soaking wet and that he was freezing. Without hesitation he took off his long coat and put it around Hamish's shoulders. "Better?" he asked softly.

Hamish looked up surprised and nodded. "Thank you." He had always wanted to wear Sherlock's coat but his father didn't want it to get dirty. This was one of the best moments for Hamish. His eyes lit up and he took Sherlock's hand and dragged him along towards the Doctor.

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**I know this one was very short but I hope you still liked it. I don't know when I'll upload the next chapter but it will be in the next few days :) Reviews please ^^ 3**


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